Sex.....

its not forbidden. its not a bad thing. its a natural act. to alot, its a necessity. To others, its an expression of intimacy. the want to have sex is often mistaken as the sign of a "dog", or "ho". To me, its a sign of a human who is being just that...human. Im human. I have wants. the want of a touch from a woman. To want to hold her, kiss her, engage in an intimate act to make each other a member of our respected genders. Its makes me feel, in a way, wanted. Attractive. Longed for. To be made to feel that youre more than "just a friend" in some cases. Is it wrong to want to have sex with someone you care for, are attracted to, or just feel that chemistry with? To be deprived of sex, for whatever reason, is a blow to one's psyche. Personally, ive now gone almost a year without. 49 weeks to be exact. its not that i havent have my opportunities, but somthing always gets in the way, whether its because the other isnt single, the time isnt right, one isnt ready, or someone is ALWAYS there. ive been accused of only wanting sex by one person who use to only seem to call me when she wanted sex. Its usually the guilty ones whos first to accuse others right??

I have a connection with someone that transcends sex. We arent together, but we once were a long time ago. And we will always be more than just friends. Being more that just friends doesnt make us "fuck buddies". It means our friendship is more than just a friendship. And yes, sex does sometimes happen. It doesnt complicate us. It doesnt guide us. its something we can be comfortable with having together. But in recent times, it does get complicated. The want is there. on both sides. But the timing is horrible. Especially when its been years since the 2 of us had any intimate time together. Its something we dont need. But we would like to enjoy it time to time.

Will the timing ever be there? who knows. Will it ever happen, who knows. Honestly, after the amount of time that it has been since i last had sex, id feel really comfortable with her than someone new.

So now its the last week of November. And i do not feel good about myself. No, i dont beleive that sex defines how i feel about myself. Its the lack of that intimate connection that i miss.

And to miss that is only human.....