Options

Always a good option but never an option. When it comes to dating and relationships, this describes me. Im the guy women date, break up with, and either date a friend of mine or marry the next guy. since HS ive always seen me ge passed by for whatever reason. and be the one they talk to about the next. its the price i pay for a friendship continued. And after all these years, ive grown accustomed to it. I cant understand or explain why this always happens, but i can do one thing....deal. Its part of what makes me...me. The strength and logic of just knowing God has something planned. Someone hopefully for me out there. But what does hope give me now. The Knowledge of knowing that i must be great if so many still want me in their lives in a positive way. Positive, yes. But how does that help this feeling i have? this feeling that maybe i missed something. This feeling of doubt in continuing to want to date and be in a relationship. Maybe im just ment to be just a party of one. Maybe im the one invited to all the weddings but never have one. To be in some cases the one who supports someones relationship and be that friend that helps guide them thru the ups and downs of understanding. the one they thank for being there for them.

Maybe being that friend and not actually trying to be there for me is what has caused this.

Maybe i should just give up and live.

Alone....but live.