ever felt like youre lost???

like you have nothing planned? nothing to look forward to? lots of friends but still feel alone? like you have lots of favorite people but your no one's favorite? like even God doesnt have you on His top friends list? thats how im feeling. down. out. depressed i believe its called. and i dont know why i feel like this. or maybe i do. i dont know anymore. someone hook me up to some jumper cables please! i need boost!

first, let me say....

ive always wanted to be a father. To raise a child who'll become a better person than ill ever be. And for years there's always been a question within me if i can ever have kids. I say this because everytime ive been with someone i care about, there has been times where i should have heard "im pregnant", but never did. But these same women get pregnant by the next guy. so the question of "can i have kids" becomes a statment of " i dont think i can". If God has decided that i cant, so be it. But then the guys who get their Gf's pregnant are the ones who dont give a shit after the 2 mins of their labor into getting the woman pregnant. Guys, let me be cleaar on this. Just because you get off doesnt mean your job is done!!!!!! you have 9 months of getting prepared to receive a blessing and then ATLEAST 18 years of raising these kids to become better people. I cant stress enough of how i cant stand hearing my homegirls complaining about how their Bfs are trying to get them pregnant and when they do, its nothing but hearing them complain how he's not doing what he's suppose to! sometimes i wanna tell them "well you hooked up with him". Especially when its an ex of mine. Im the type that if i were to get a woman pregnant, its time to stop goofing off! My life is not about only me anymore. Its about raising this life that God has blessed me with. A child that i helped bring into this world. As men, we need to step up and handle it!! the mother of our Children has to go thru the hard part. Carrying our child for 9 months. We should do anything and everything we can to make it as easy for them as possible. and thats just the beginning. Cause once you have a kid, you cant quit. So if any men out there wants to get their Girl pregnant just to get them pregnant, DONT!!!!!! Cause if youre gonna be a fuck up after your 2 mins, you shoulda just went home and beat one off! leave the child raising to those of us who would welcome the blessing. Cause in my mind, Thats what having a child is. A blessing!!!!!

I am Me.....

.....lower your shields and open your mind. Here will be random thoughts that make me happy, pissed and whatever emotions pass my way. Whether or not you'll agree is up to you.